You’ve been accused of committing a crime involving one of your foster children — maybe more. The police will find out when they interview every foster child you’ve ever had in your home, and you know some of the kids were not happy with you — the rebellious teenager, the acting-out 8-year-old, the defiant tween. “You’re not my Mom!” You’ve heard it again and again. The only foster child you don’t have to worry about is the 3-week-old infant placed with you seven years ago, unless, of course, she repressed her memory of abuse and has now pinned her depression to that cold baby bottle you fed her.

You knew this could happen. Your child welfare agency warned you about allegations from your foster children before. You thought you did everything right — kept locks off the bedroom doors, had a buddy-system in the grocery store, and frequently reinforced the importance of privacy for every individual in your home. But then you received that dreaded call. Your caseworker wants to schedule a meeting with you. Her tone sounds a bit suspicious. She said you won’t need an attorney. “Why would I even think of bringing an attorney?” you ask. She does not answer. You’re left to wonder what this is all about.

Foster Parents Face Unique Risks
As Americans, we believe our judicial system will provide justice for all citizens, at least we hope so. As foster parents, we recognize the unique risks we face unlike many traditional families. After all, we are parenting someone else’s child, and our foster child is in the foster care system for a reason. Our training teaches us keep good records, to document our child’s milestones, and to photograph hallmarks. But what happens when our good deeds and best efforts become scrutinized as crimes? If we face criminal allegations involving our foster children, many of our record keeping, documentation and photographs may be used as evidence against us. We frequently hear of foster parents accused of abusing or neglecting children trusted in their care.

Ohio foster parents Michael and Sharen Gravelle recently faced trial for abusing their 11 special needs foster children. In 2005, the Gravelle case made national headlines, accusing the foster parents of caging their foster children in wood-framed enclosures with rabbit wire. If convicted, the Gravelles face one to five years in prison and a maximum fine of $10,000 for each of the 16 felony counts. We don’t cage our foster children, but did they? Were the allegations against them fabricated? Innocent or guilty, foster parents are routinely criticized and stereotyped.

The Foster Parent Trial
A foster parent’s criminal trial is unlike the trial of any other defendant. In a criminal case, a prosecutor must prove beyond a reasonable doubt that a crime occurred, and the accused is guilty of that crime. Prosecutors invoke physical evidence, witness testimony, and often the admissions of the accused to win a conviction.
Defending a foster parent is a difficult task. Many of our behaviors are viewed subjectively, ignoring any objective basis for our conduct. For example, if your 10-year-old developmentally-delayed foster child requires your assistance toileting, your aid in a public restroom may be considered inappropriate by a passerby. Will a juror think the same?

Many prosecutors don’t understand the difficulties foster parents face when caring for someone else’s abused or neglected child. Our foster children have unique needs and, in turn, bring us unique risks. We consistently question our own judgment, wondering if what we think we should do will be ridiculed by someone else.

Our foster children’s lifebooks are scrapbooks of their memories and experiences, not a personal collection of our victim. The photographs on our refrigerators help break the ice with new children placed in our home, showing them the many happy experiences of other foster children before them while placing their worried minds at ease. We don’t obsess over our foster children by placing their pictures throughout our homes. Not all 10-year-olds require assistance when bathing, but some 10-year-olds placed in our homes have been traumatized since birth, causing them to think like 2-year-olds. Can we allow a 2-year-old to bathe alone?

Innocence Lost
Prosecutors often call foster children as witnesses in foster parent trials. Though a child’s testimony may be considered unreliable, in many states, the reliability of a child’s testimony is left for jurors to decide. Reliability is often ignored when foster children make false statements to their therapist or law enforcement. Are your foster child’s statements reliable?

Children may be questioned repeatedly about allegations of abuse or neglect by social workers, law enforcement officials, therapists, counselors, psychologists, teachers and other foster parents. Improper interviewing techniques by unqualified examiners can irreversibly taint the reliability of a child’s memory.

Individuals who use leading questions, authoritative influence and coaching improperly taint a child’s memory and may convince a child of an untrue memory. Children should only be interviewed by qualified examiners who understand and avoid use of improper interview techniques. Once interview protocols have been broken, a child’s memory can be permanently altered, and the reliability of the child’s memory is forever lost.

When Accused, What Can You Do
Every foster parent should take seriously any allegation made against you. While we can not always account for our actions, should not videotape every activity in our home, and are exposed to unique risks abused and neglected children bring to us, an allegation of wrongdoing may elevate to a criminal accusation and, possibly, your criminal trial.

If an allegation is made against you, always:
• Gather and assemble your records. Review your calendar and notebook. Collect facts and organize documents supporting your response.

• Prepare a written response to any allegation you receive. Make your statements brief and to the point. If the allegation is untrue, deny each allegation independently. Request a personal meeting to discuss any concerns with your foster care performance.

If you suspect the allegation may be handled as a crime:
• Contact an attorney immediately. Never meet with anyone or discuss any criminal allegation against you without the assistance of legal counsel.

• Prepare a written timeline of all contact and activities you can remember involving the foster child. Look for supporting facts, including witnesses like the child’s teacher, daycare provider or neighbors.

• Ask your attorney to prepare a letter to investigators denying any crime and, if appropriate, offer to meet with the investigators to discuss the allegation. Only meet with an investigator when your attorney is present.

Foster parent trials are unique indeed. We face greater obstacles to understanding the intricate relationships inherent with foster children that many parents will never comprehend with their own biological child.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Erik A. Cooper served as a foster parent for 42 children placed in his care through the Gwinnett County Department of Family and Children Services in Georgia. In 2003, Cooper was charged with nine counts of child molestation involving six of his former foster children, including four brothers Cooper hoped to adopt. Cooper was brought to trial in March 2005 and acquitted of all counts. For more information, visit Cooper’s Web site at www.ErikCooper.com.